No, that is being a DOM, she's not being abusive.
If you don't have years of experience with each other and maybe, probably, even if you do and especially if you're trying something new - have your conversation and WRITE IT DOWN.
It's rare that a person actually has the emotional presence to actually do it until after they've gained familiarity with the systems and learned to trust and operate the equipment.
She treated you like you were in some kind of porny story, not an actual human being.
This is BDSM, you have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm questioning if OP and his Dom even do.
How is this the behavior of a partner who can be trusted? Then she said to try it for a full day, which I did, not much trouble except some discomfort and trouble sleeping, but I managed.